Mostly I think of your face
in certain lights you look like my man.
I’m not one to cry, but you make me cry
when you tell me that love is not a real feeling.
The door is open
the cat walked out.
You are sitting at your desk
watching the pornography you say you hate.
Is that a real feeling?
The feeling these fake lovers give you?
I can barely breathe
when I look at your arms and your neck.
Hold me until this picture fades
and we are old and full of death.
I once sent a nude picture
to someone I hardly knew.
Now it’s out there
staring at me from the interwebs.
Does that make me a whore or a cunt?
Don’t use those words, for me.
I am just a girl,
after all these breasts are real.
But not this face I make
when I meet other faces.
This face I make has your face in it.
I know the difference in your toothy smile.
You only smile when you need something
you forgot you put it in someone else’s mind.
You put love in here, I try not to waste it,
but I stopped giving it away.
Where are the wild horses
you said you could tame?
What’s your real name, in this play?
What part do you want, will you stay?
Can I be you and you be me,
Let’s pretend this is destiny.
We are all trees with colored leaves, giving each other
oxygen, I can only breathe when your mouth is on my mouth.
Give me my next breath
be my best friend, by killing me softly.
Your song was always the one,
it was always your song.
Were you singing for me?
Or are your large feet ready
to climb over me
to step on my dreams.
Don’t tell me there is such a thing
as reality, when I know there is no real you.
Sing to me, tell me stories.
Write your favorite fantasy on my face.
There was a small bar downtown
where you said they knew your name.
Why is it they know you better
then this person who is playing your game?
I can’t win here, can I?
Waiting for the phone to ring, I don’t sing anymore.
I never made you those chocolate chip cookies
that you said reminded you of home.
Please say something
even if you don’t care.
I like to play pretend
remember you put your hands in my hair and you said:
I wish you were someone else
I think of her when I look at you.
I’m not pretty enough,
to make you look any longer.
This picture of us I want to put in a fire.
Today I’m on my knees.
It is a bittersweet story,
these are the days of our death.
We are pretending to live
I brush my teeth with your tongue.
If that isn’t death
I don’t know any other life that I can borrow.
Can I borrow your dreams
and try them on for size?
You don’t fit me
I am too small to reside in your memory.
Remember this: us standing under the streetlight
saying each other’s names as if we know them.
Will you remember my face?
the birthmark on my cheek
the cut of my chin
the way my lips say your name.
I will keep this moment
it’s mine don’t you dare try to steal it.
This was never yours.
We were never a we.
You didn’t want to own me
even though I gave you the instructions
on how to find my heart.
Sir your screwdriver missed the whole.
The hole in my words will tell you
we are innocent bystanders to these feelings.
You never experienced love for me,
you only witnessed mine.
We need an eyewitness a crime has been committed.
The serpent ate my apple.
Now I’m on a pedestal as mother mary sings.
And eve descends with her wings.
I thought I was in the garden of eden with you,
But tonight we stand in my basement
The floor has never been dirtier.
Either have my dreams.
It’s three a.m., you are lying on my couch.
I’m not dead enough, please kill me again.
While you sleep I look out the window
and see nothing but blades of grass
If only you could have brought me a daisy
from the dirt.
Now our hands are not clean
there is blood in this room.
I don’t know which one of us is bleeding
since all blood looks the same.
So I taste it on my finger.
We say we are not vampires.
But you took my blood from me.
I want it back.
Stop using it.
It is the only reason you are alive.