A Guru for Dummies
So this really cool thing happened in Ninaland recently…It’s amazing…I all of a sudden changed my parameters to promote my blog in India, and out of nowhere, I got a raving audience of readers from India. This happened a few days ago, and since then Indians from India are blowing up my website.
I’m not sure how I’m appealing to Indians who live in India, but it doesn’t matter how or why, it is just incredible. I am honored. My father, on the other hand, sees this as the greatest opportunity I’ve ever had.
He said to me, and I quote, “I think you should become a Guru. These Indians will make any idiot into a guru. Just think about it…you could become very rich…”
You can’t make this stuff up.
Just when I think he’s joking he starts giving me blog ideas that I should write about as a guru. Karma, reincarnation, who is god? Etc. etc. I’ve written about spiritual stuff, and I enjoy writing about it but I ain’t no guru. Even if I wanted to be a phony guru, I really wouldn’t be good at it. And for the record, I don’t think Indians are idiots or idiotic enough to think an idiot like me is a guru. And I would totally run out of deep thoughts in a week.
I told my friend about this guruness saga and she died laughing. She said I should write a book called: How to become a guru in ten days or less! So I told my dad that my friend totally approved of this idea and he was like “You laugh, but I told you this is a good idea…Get a notebook, let’s plan this thing.” He suggested I first change the name of the blog.
And I laughed again. He was annoyed by my laughter, cause he’s dead serious. He was like “You need to see Guide again.” Guide is an old Indian movie about a man who becomes a guru.
I told him my appeal is not just the deep thoughts by nina. But my appeal is the day in the life of nina. My extraordinary ordinary nature. I’m just like everybody else, except totally different.
I’m not going to try to lure you or hypnotize you into thinking I am some sort of divine being. But I will take up my dad on some of his ideas for blogs. Like the reincarnation thing is interesting. Who was nina in a past life? I can see it now.
Who do you think you were in a past life? I definitely think I was Cleopatra. I mean I’m such a fucking princess. I pay this Aveda school salon 16 dollars almost every week to wash and style my hair. Who does that?
In all seriousness, this idea of a guru actually hits home with me. I have Bipolar Disorder and when I became manic I was convinced that I was a prophet, not just any prophet but the messiah. We don’t have a messiah in Sikhism, my psychiatrist pointed out to me. Then he gave me a quote from his Rabbi, “The Messiah will come the day after he is not needed.”
From that day on my shrink, doc, or psychiatrist, whatever you want to call him started calling me Nina Guru. I actually prefer, Guru Nina. Ha ha. I joke. I kid. In all seriousness, I prefer princess nina. C’mon it is kind of funny isn’t it? Kaur actually means princess in Punjabi. Anyways…
When I became “sane” again, I realized that I wanted to be a teacher. The word Guru literally means teacher in Hindi, I think. I am a teacher now, a professor of English Composition to be exact.
So sorry I’m not gonna save you or your soul. I probably can’t even teach you a damn thing. Someone asked me today what my purpose in life is. “Creatively expressing who I really am.” That was my response. That is why I write.
This blog is unfortunately not going to spontaneously turn into scripture for dummies. It’s still just gonna be me being me. Hopefully, you can tolerate that.