Forty-Something Years in Ninaland

Dear Future Boyfriend,

Jul
22

Photo by Ryan Holloway on Unsplash

I guess I should tell you that I come with some baggage.

I have never had a good enough relationship that I could say that I wanted to be with that person forever.

Let’s not talk about forever though, let’s talk about right now.

How do you live? I will want to know.

I don’t care so much that you don’t squeeze the toothpaste from the back or put down the toilet seat.

What I care about is that you do the dishes when I look tired and worn, even if it’s my turn.

Sometimes you will be upset by me, to the point where you want to break up.

Give me a minute before you walk away. I may surprise you.

I will want to sing with you sometimes, sometimes I won’t. Sometimes I will sing to my own tune.

I don’t care so much that you snore, but I will ask you to hold me, even when you don’t want to.

Please do it anyways. It will ensure our success.

Don’t just buy me flowers when you mess up or on occasions.

Photo by Caleb Ekeroth on Unsplash

Buy me flowers for no reason at all, that’s how I will know this is real.

I will ask you questions about your past, don’t answer all of them.

If you know what not to answer, you may have the answer to me.

When I ask you about your past girlfriends or wives, don’t tell me how much you loved them.

Don’t tell me you still love them. Know what to keep to yourself.

Those are the kind of things I don’t need to know. I do however need to know how capable of love you are.

Show me who you are and I will return the favor. Don’t hide yourself, show me your scars and I will do the same.

I just need to know that you are kind, smart and can make me laugh. That is all I need in the end.

Let’s try to have long philosophical conversations about how to save the world with intermittent hilarity.

Let’s laugh at ourselves, a lot. Let’s not take this too seriously, but still seriously enough.

Don’t give up on me too easily, I’m not consciously trying to test you, but it might feel like that.

Maybe I am, I would like to see how devoted you are to me.

We will most likely have a lot of passion and infatuation. When this fades, don’t fade away on me.

Don’t mind me sometimes, I’m a little crazy.

If you make me feel alive, I will probably stay.

If you stop loving me, you must leave me.

I will do the same favor to you.

Hopefully, we have something real here, time will tell.

All we have is time.

nina

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