Forty-Something Years in Ninaland

Manic Sunday


Photo by Blake Lisk on Unsplash

Ok, so it’s Sunday. My fun day. You may be reading this on Monday.

This day didn’t start out fun, I slept five hours in the last two days. My fitted sheet on my mattress keeps coming off because I have no mattress pad and I mean to get one but I mean to do a lot of things in my life. More important things like I’ve needed to change my toothbrush for three days now. Then I realized something as I was trying to physically fit my sheet back on the mattress. I am cat sitting for a friend who has three cats. I realized I may or may not have given the cats dog food. In my defense, there was no clear demarcation. I could not find even a picture of a cat or dog on the bag so I took a wild guess.

She apparently sent me a text prior to this clarifying which bag was appropriate for the cats, she took the dog with her on vacation. It’s kind of like if a dude takes Midol. What’s the worst that can happen? Actually, now that I think about it, what does happen? Hmmm. I know, I know, google it. It’s one of the stupid questions I will never get around to googling.

Photo by Damian Zaleski on Unsplash

Sometimes I feel like my keyboard is like a piano, I like to think I’m making music. It feels more poetic when I think of it that way.

I usually listen to music when my muse is really present. What is the muse, you ask? What inspires me? I don’t know, everything and nothing, all simultaneously.

Music is much harder to make than putting words together I think. I’m not musically inclined. I’m very bad at it in fact. I definitely don’t have that ear. I played trumpet in middle school, only because all the other girls picked the flute. I was so bad at the trumpet my parents sat me down and asked me to stop practicing in the basement. However, before this they had bought me the trumpet, I still have it. Do you want to buy it? Anyways, they were so pissed at this useless purchase than when it was my sisters turn they rented a flute for seven years as she became an expert. I didn’t get the song gene.

Anyways, I’m lonely today. I feel not really sad, but alone. But life goes on, doesn’t it? Long after the thrill of living is gone. You get lonely. You get upset and hurt. Then someone makes you laugh. Hilarity usually solves most problems I find. Now I would normally follow up that statement with a hilarious story, but I’m not sure I have one today.

There is something about today, it’s not a normal day. I don’t feel normal. I know that I’m not generally what you would call normal as it is, but today it’s especially off. I wonder if I have ever been happy. I have been, deeply happy. Many times, for long periods of time in fact.

In fact, I’m so out of whack today I realized, I do have a kind of funny story. So I don’t know if you remember but a while ago U2 released a free song on iTunes. Well along with the song, for some reason or another, every time I started my car, a picture from that song of two men standing almost naked in front of each other about to do something erotic shows up on my phone. Well we hooked up my mom’s phone to the car, and I’m driving and all of a sudden the picture for some reason pops up on her phone.

She’s like, “What is this Nina? What is this dirty…”

My face turned bright red, she was sitting in the back. I pretended to not know what she was talking about. “What are you talking about mom?”

“It is two nude men…”

“What??” I say as if I’m astounded and have no idea what she is talking about. “It’s probably spam mom, where did that come from?”

“It came from your car,” she spits out.

“What are you talking about? Somebody must have sent you that! It’s spam!.” She doesn’t really know how phones work. She’s a doctor but has yet to truly understand the iPhone.

“OH, Shani what is this?” she asks my dad.

“Rana, I think all these people get your email address and they can send you bad things,” he said. He understands phones better, but not completely.

“Has anyone ever sent you porn?” I asked and immediately regretted that I just said the word ‘porn’ in front of my parents. Luckily they are slightly hard of hearing and weren’t paying attention to me.

“What is going on in your car? I don’t like this!” she said and fiddled with her phone. She is smarter than I give her credit for. Although I didn’t put that picture up on her phone or mine, I knew exactly how weird it was and what she was talking about, but if I told her that, she would think I was into some kinky stuff.

So it totally makes all three of us uncomfortable so I start changing the subject to how the Internet is terrible. She has no idea, how terrible. It’s not a lie, in fact, I’m telling the truth. The interwebs just put a picture of two almost naked men on my mom’s phone! A seventy-year-old very religious modest woman. The next day I somehow managed to remove the picture from my phone with the help of a friend.

It wasn’t really the homoerotic nature of the photo that made this situation uncomfortable as much as the erotic element. My parents are in their seventies from India. It’s as if they were born in the early 1900’s of the US, they are not thinking the same way as regular Americans. Immigrants are not as comfortable with their sexuality as born citizens.

Tragedy in suburbia averted.

The real tragedy in suburbia is my flowers. I basically made a corpse of two hanging plants. I would take a picture and show you but I’m embarrassed I did that to a living thing. Trust and believe it’s sad. But you know I’ve done worse things than killing a plant or two, much worse.

On that note, I will end this day synopsis here.

p.s. I’ve decided to just be happy. So I’m happy now. I’ll keep you posted on how that goes.


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