Forty-Something Years in Ninaland

I have a dream…


Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash


I’m back at school teaching. The first thing I noticed about the kids in my class is that there are three DACA kids or Dreamers as they are called. They told the class how they wake up every morning not knowing what is going to happen in their lives. These political issues that we fight about in the abstract, are actually very real. One kid mentioned how he worries he will be arrested and then deported. He’s not doing anything illegal, but he said you can get arrested for just being brown while driving.

These are not the kind of worries I had when I was going to college. I worried about a new zit or a paper that was due. I was not worried that my life depended on the mood of a cranky dictator. I didn’t worry about getting falsely arrested and then deported. Life was simple for me.

Maybe it still is. But I always keep in the back of my head how difficult these times are for some people. I heard a statistic on CNN that said that half the country does not have five-hundred dollars in their bank account for emergency purposes. And that is just in this country, in other countries more and more people are starving to death.

I have too much. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with all that I have, but I would like to do something good. My life is easy, in comparison to the lives of many people who are suffering around the world. But everything is relative isn’t it? I think my life is stressful, but I don’t have to worry about where my next meal is coming from or if I’ll make rent this month.

I worry about stupid shit, like where the love of my life is and if I will ever have children. Putting things into perspective helps. They say the way to happiness is being grateful. I am grateful that I have the privilege of sitting here at a Starbucks with a good friend of mine just writing my life away. I’m grateful for coffee, iced coffee in particular.

I’m grateful that I have pretty clothes to wear. Thank you universe for some great family and friends. I’m happy sometimes, it’s not a permanent thing, but it comes and goes. I’m a dreamer too. Even though I’m not in DACA and don’t have to worry about being deported, I’d like to still call myself a dreamer of a different type.

I have a dream. I have a dream that I will one day find a consistent happiness. That I will one day find peace and the love of my life. I have a dream that all our dreams will come true. The sad, the hungry, the hurt. I don’t think god wants us to be so unhappy.

But are we, so unhappy that is? Most likely if you are reading this, you have time to waste. Be grateful for that.

I am, I’m grateful for words. These words. Your words.

Thank you.


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One Response to I have a dream…

  1. Facebook Comment:
    Kali Kelley Yes…everything is relative…and life is hard in different realities for us all
    The Daca/dreamers issue is a disgrace. There should be no argument about what the right thing to to is for the people who have lived in this country for most of their lives…who know no other way of life but the American way…and whose parents brought them to a place they hoped would give them an opportunity to survive and thrive. I am in the middle of the international community, and those who I know personally are honorable, compassionate, and only want to contribute to this country, and live peacefully with all.
    I always enjoy your words, Nina Kaur, and I am grateful that you have shared them.

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